为什么你的定语从句越写越啰嗦？
改过几百篇作文后，我发现了中国学生最顽固的习惯之一：每个名词后面都要加一句 “which is…” 或 “that are…”。
比如：
- “a rule which was introduced last year”
- “the company that is based in Beijing”
- “people who are living in cities”
每一个都对，但每一个都可以更简洁。
英语母语者的习惯是：能省略 “which/that + be” 的时候，绝对不写。今天我们从《金融时报》一篇关于俄罗斯体育禁赛的报道中，学习4个定语从句简化技巧。
FT 原文段落
Russia’s four-year ban from global sporting events has been halved, in a move that will affect athletes competing at the next two Olympic Games, but could end the long-running fallout from its state-sponsored doping scandal.
The Court of Arbitration for Sport, a Swiss body considered the ultimate arbiter for global sports disputes, ruled on Thursday that wide-ranging sanctions applied on Russia by the World Anti-Doping Agency should be upheld.
The ruling covers the next two Olympics — the summer games in Tokyo scheduled to take place next year, and the 2022 Winter games in Beijing — as well as other big sporting events such as the 2022 World Cup in Qatar.
俄罗斯为期四年的全球体育禁赛令被减半，此举将会影响参加未来两届奥运会的运动员，但也可能结束该国政府支持的兴奋剂丑闻带来的长期影响。被视为全球体育争端最终仲裁机构、位于瑞士的国际体育仲裁法庭裁定，维持世界反兴奋剂机构对俄罗斯实施的广泛制裁。这一裁决涵盖即将举行的两届奥运会——定于明年在东京举行的夏季奥运会和2022年在北京举行的冬季奥运会。
这段英文非常典型——全文一共只有1-2个完整的 “which/that” 引导词，但简化后的定语从句却出现了6次以上。这不是巧合：这就是母语者的默认写法。
技巧一：过去分词简化（最常见，占40%用例）
规则： “which/that + was/were + 过去分词” → 直接去掉引导词和 be 动词，保留过去分词。
FT原文：
sanctions **applied** on Russia（← sanctions which were applied on Russia）a Swiss body **considered** the ultimate arbiter（← a Swiss body which is considered the ultimate arbiter）the summer games **scheduled** to take place next year（← the summer games which are scheduled to take place…）
对比表格：
| 学生写法（啰嗦） | 升级写法（地道） |
|---|---|
| The rule which was introduced last year took effect. | The rule introduced last year took effect. |
| Students who are taught by experienced teachers perform better. | Students taught by experienced teachers perform better. |
| A report which was published today shows rising costs. | A report published today shows rising costs. |
模板： [名词] + [过去分词] + [剩余部分]
跨主题例句（科技类作文）：
The algorithm developed by the research team achieved 98% accuracy. （← The algorithm which was developed by the research team achieved 98% accuracy.）
技巧二：现在分词简化（第二常见，占30%用例）
规则： “which/that/who + 主动态动词” → 去掉引导词，动词变为 -ing 形式。
FT原文：
athletes **competing** at the next two Olympic Games（← athletes who are competing at the next…）bodies **including** the International Olympic Committee（← bodies which include the International Olympic Committee…）
💡 注意：只有当从句动词是主动态（doing）时才能用现在分词简化。如果是被动态（be done），用技巧一。
对比表格：
| 学生写法（啰嗦） | 升级写法（地道） |
|---|---|
| People who live in big cities face more pressure. | People living in big cities face more pressure. |
| A company that offers remote work attracts more talent. | A company offering remote work attracts more talent. |
| Students who study abroad often become more independent. | Students studying abroad often become more independent. |
模板： [名词] + [V-ing] + [剩余部分]
跨主题例句（环境类作文）：
Countries facing the worst water shortages have started investing in desalination technology. （← Countries that face the worst water shortages…）
技巧三：非限制性逗号简化（占20%用例）
规则： , which + be + 形容词/分词 → , + 形容词/分词（去掉 which is，保留逗号和后面的内容）
FT原文并不直接包含这个格式，但我们可以从类似结构中推导： 假如原文写的是 “CAS, which is based in Switzerland, ruled…” → 简化后就是 “CAS, based in Switzerland, ruled…”
虽然没有完全匹配的例句，但这个技能非常实用——学生经常在 “which is located/founded/known” 上浪费字。
对比表格：
| 学生写法（啰嗦） | 升级写法（地道） |
|---|---|
| Shanghai, which is known as the financial hub of China, attracts global talent. | Shanghai, known as the financial hub of China, attracts global talent. |
| The company, which was founded in 2010, has grown rapidly. | The company, founded in 2010, has grown rapidly. |
模板： [主语], [形容词/分词短语], [谓语+剩余部分]
⚠️ 注意：非限制性定语（逗号后的修饰）不能省略。如果你去掉逗号，意思会改变。简化的只是 “which is/was” 这部分，不是整个从句。
技巧四：破折号插入简化（高阶，占10%）
规则： — which/that + be + 过去分词 — → — 过去分词 —
FT原文中的破折号结构：
The ruling covers the next two Olympics — the summer games scheduled to take place next year — as well as other big sporting events…
这里的 scheduled to take place 本身就是简化后的形式（省略了 which are）。FT 作者进一步用破折号把它作插入语处理，形成一种更紧凑的节奏。
对比表格：
| 学生写法（啰嗦） | 升级写法（地道） |
|---|---|
| The latest policy — which was announced last week — has caused debate. | The latest policy — announced last week — has caused debate. |
| Her final project — which was completed in just one month — won first prize. | Her final project — completed in just one month — won first prize. |
模板： [名词] — [过去分词 + 修饰语] — [谓语+剩余部分]
💡 破折号比逗号更有”强调感”——它告诉读者”接下来的信息是重点关注的内容”。
实战练习：把下面这段改写简洁
学生版（未简化）：
The experiment which was designed by Professor Wang, who is a leading scientist, produced results which were considered remarkable. The data which was collected over three years supports a theory which has been debated for decades.
升级版（应用4个技巧后）：
The experiment designed by Professor Wang, a leading scientist, produced results considered remarkable. The data collected over three years supports a theory debated for decades.
从 34 个词变成 25 个词，减少 26%，每个信息点都更清晰。
写作建议
三步自查法：
- 第一步： 写完一段后，找到所有 “which/that/who + be” → 问自己：能不能直接删掉？
- 第二步： 找所有 “which/that/who + 主动词” → 问自己：能不能改成 V-ing？
- 第三步： 检查简化后意思是否改变——过去分词表被动/完成，现在分词表主动/进行，不要搞混。
把这4个技巧写在便利贴上，贴在你的书桌前。下次写作文时，写完检查一遍，看看能消灭几个 “which is”。
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