昨天批改了一位高一学生的作文，主题是”介绍一个你喜欢的品牌”。这个学生写了对宜家的喜爱，但整篇文章被同一个问题拖累——
每个名词前都用”which is”或”that is”引导一个完整的定语从句。
IKEA is a Swedish brand which was founded in 1943. It sells furniture that is affordable and stylish. The company which is known for its flat-pack design has stores in many countries.
语法上没有问题，但读起来啰嗦、不自然。母语者写这类描述时，倾向于省略”which/that + be动词”，直接用分词短语代替。
恰好FT有一篇关于宜家停止印刷产品目录的报道，用词精准、定语丰富。我们来看看它怎么用定语从句（以及更高级的简化形式）。
📖 FT原文段落
Ikea is to stop producing its iconic catalogue, once the most-printed book in the world ahead of the Bible and Koran.
The flat-pack furniture retailer on Monday said its current catalogue — released in August — would be its last as more and more shoppers move online and fewer read a pamphlet first released in 1951 by Ikea’s founder, Ingvar Kamprad.
宜家将停止生产其标志性产品目录，这本目录曾是全球印刷量最大的出版物。
这家平板包装家具零售商周一表示，目前的产品目录——发布于今年8月——将是最后一本，因为越来越多的消费者转向线上购物，阅读创始人于1951年首发的产品册的人越来越少了。
再看这一段：
At its peak in 2015, Ikea produced more than 200m copies of the catalogue featuring a full array of its products from Billy bookcases to Ektorp sofas.
在2015年的巅峰时期，宜家印制了超过2亿本产品目录，收录了从毕利书柜到爱克托沙发的全线产品。
技巧一：过去分词替代”which/that was”
学生写法（啰嗦型）：
a pamphlet which was first released in 1951 by Ikea’s founder
FT写法（简洁型）：
a pamphlet first released in 1951 by Ikea’s founder
为什么好： 当定语从句的关系词是”which/that + be动词 + 过去分词”时，直接去掉which/was，剩下的过去分词短语直接作后置定语，字数砍半，信息密度翻倍。
| 学生写法 | 升级写法 |
|---|---|
| a book which was published in 2020 | a book published in 2020 |
| a plan that was abandoned last year | a plan abandoned last year |
| a city which is located in southern China | a city located in southern China |
| a problem that was caused by pollution | a problem caused by pollution |
模板：
[名词] + [过去分词短语]
例句：
The decision made by the board has drawn criticism from employees. The changes introduced in the new policy aim to reduce carbon emissions.
技巧二：现在分词替代”which/that + 主动动词”
学生写法（啰嗦型）：
200m copies of the catalogue which featured a full array of its products
FT写法（简洁型）：
200m copies of the catalogue featuring a full array of its products
为什么好： 当定语从句是主动语态（which + 动词）时，去掉which，把动词改为V-ing形式，同样起到修饰名词的作用，但更紧凑。
| 学生写法 | 升级写法 |
|---|---|
| a brand which produces eco-friendly goods | a brand producing eco-friendly goods |
| a company that employs over 10,000 people | a company employing over 10,000 people |
| a policy that aims to reduce pollution | a policy aiming to reduce pollution |
| a study which examines student behavior | a study examining student behavior |
模板：
[名词] + [V-ing短语]
例句：
Tesla is a company leading the transition to electric vehicles. The new regulation, requiring all businesses to report emissions, takes effect next month.
技巧三：非限制性定语从句的简化
学生写法（啰嗦型）：
the company, which is now based in the Netherlands,
FT写法（简洁型）：
the company, now based in the Netherlands,
再看FT中的另一处用法：
its current catalogue — released in August —
为什么好： 非限制性定语从句（前面有逗号的which从句）中的”which is/are”是最常见的冗余。去掉它，直接用分词短语或形容词短语放在逗号后面，既保留了补充说明的作用，又避免了从句堆砌。
| 学生写法 | 升级写法 |
|---|---|
| The CEO, who is known for his innovative ideas, | The CEO, known for his innovative ideas, |
| The museum, which was founded in 1890, | The museum, founded in 1890, |
| The park, which is located downtown, | The park, located downtown, |
| The device, which is designed to detect gas leaks, | The device, designed to detect gas leaks, |
模板：
[名词]，[过去分词/现在分词短语]，
例句：
The app, downloaded over a million times, has changed how people order food. The university, founded in 1895, is one of the oldest in the region.
技巧四：用破折号做插入式定语
FT原文中有一处值得注意的用法：
its current catalogue — released in August — would be its last
为什么好： 破折号相当于加粗的逗号，比逗号更强调中间的补充信息。写作中偶尔用一次，节奏感十足——比”which was released in August”有力得多。
模板：
[名词] — [分词短语] — [主句继续]
例句：
The government’s latest policy — designed to curb inflation — has received mixed reactions from economists.
写作建议
- 先学会辨别：写完后通读全文，找到所有”which/that + be动词”的结构，问自己——能否去掉它们？
- 不要全盘替换：有些复杂定语从句需要完整的”which + 动词”来表达（尤其是when where why引导的从句），但70%的情况下都能简化。
- 三遍自查法：
- 第一遍：所有”which is/that are”能省则省
- 第二遍：所有”which has/that have”能简则简
- 第三遍：检查意思是否改变
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