上周改到一篇高三学生作文，开头第一句就写了这样一段：
“The Apple Watch, which was first released in 2015 and which has become the best-selling smartwatch in the world, is now banned from the US market because of a patent dispute with Masimo, which is a health technology company.”
句子没错。语法全对。但读起来像在搬砖——两个 which was、一个 which is，把主语和动词之间的空间填得满满当当。
问题不在于学生不会定语从句，恰恰相反——他们太会了。每个名词都要跟一个完整定语从句，生怕读者不知道这个名词是谁。而《金融时报》的写法恰恰相反：能简则简，能省则省。
来看看FT是怎么处理的。
FT原文节选
本文选自FT 2023年12月27日的一篇速览报道，涉及苹果手表禁令、瑞典加入北约、欧盟援乌等多个话题。我们取其中最精彩的句子来学习：
Apple is banned from selling the Watch Series 9 and Watch Ultra 2 in the US after President Joe Biden’s administration refused to grant a reprieve from a trade tribunal’s decision that it had infringed another company’s patents.
Apple confirmed on Tuesday it had appealed against the earlier ruling from the US International Trade Commission, which stems from a patent dispute with health technology company Masimo. Biden’s administration had 60 days from the ITC decision, which was handed down in October, to decide whether to allow it to take effect.
Sweden dropped its centuries-old policy of military non-alignment after Russia invaded Ukraine in February 2022, applying with its neighbour Finland to join Nato. US President Joe Biden and European leaders have urged Turkey’s President to admit Sweden, arguing that it would strengthen the bloc’s defences.
The EU is preparing a back-up plan worth up to €20bn for Ukraine, using a debt structure that sidesteps the objections of Hungary’s Viktor Orbán about funding the war-torn country.
After EU leaders failed to agree a planned €50bn four-year package for Ukraine earlier this month, officials involved in talks said one model funded by debt has gained traction as the most practical way to provide support.
4种定语从句简化技巧
技巧一：过去分词作前置定语（V-ed + 名词）
原文： “a planned €50bn four-year package” / “its centuries-old policy” / “the long-stalled entry bid”
为什么好？ FT把”which/that was + V-ed”的完整定语从句压缩成一个V-ed单词，直接放在名词前面。学生版会写成 a package that was planned 或者 a policy which is centuries old——两个词变成了一个词，从句变成了形容词。
| 学生写法 | FT升级写法 |
|---|---|
| a package that was planned to cost €50bn | a planned €50bn package |
| a policy which is centuries old | its centuries-old policy |
| an entry bid that has been stalled for a long time | the long-stalled entry bid |
模板： [V-ed] + [名词]
例句（换话题）：
- 教育：Students enrolled in a government-subsidised training program showed faster progress than those in privately-funded courses.
- 科技：The newly-launched app faced immediate competition from well-established rivals.
- 环境：The government-approved emission targets require mandatory reporting from all factories.
技巧二：过去分词作后置定语（名词 + V-ed短语）
原文： “Officials involved in talks” / “one model funded by debt”
为什么好？ 当过去分词短语较长时，FT把它放在名词后面，同样省略了”who/which + be”：Officials who were involved in talks → Officials involved in talks。两个最常见的被动定语从句压缩成两三个词。
| 学生写法 | FT升级写法 |
|---|---|
| officials who were involved in talks | officials involved in talks |
| a model which is funded by debt | a model funded by debt |
| a company that was fined by regulators | a company fined by regulators |
模板： [名词] + [V-ed + 介词短语/名词]
例句（换话题）：
- 教育：Students enrolled in the program showed a 15% improvement in writing scores.
- 科技：The features requested by users were added in the latest update.
- 个人发展：Goals supported by concrete action plans are more likely to be achieved.
技巧三：现在分词作伴随状语（SVO, V-ing…）
原文： “Sweden dropped its centuries-old policy, applying with its neighbour Finland to join Nato.” / “…have urged Turkey’s President… arguing that it would strengthen the bloc’s defences.”
为什么好？ 当两个动作是同一主语发出、且动作同时或因果相关时，FT把第二个 and + 动词 压缩为 , V-ing 短语。学生版会写 Sweden dropped its policy and applied with Finland——两个并列动词变成了一个主句+一个伴随状语，层级清晰，阅读速度翻倍。
| 学生写法 | FT升级写法 |
|---|---|
| Sweden dropped its policy and applied with Finland… | Sweden dropped its policy, applying with Finland… |
| Biden urged Turkey and argued that… | Biden urged Turkey, arguing that… |
| The company launched a new product and hoped to gain market share. | The company launched a new product, hoping to gain market share. |
模板： [主语] [动词] [宾语], [V-ing + 从句/介词短语]
例句（换话题）：
- 教育：The school introduced a reading program, aiming to improve students’ critical thinking skills.
- 科技：Apple redesigned the Watch, hoping to avoid further patent disputes.
- 环境：The city banned single-use plastics, joining dozens of other municipalities in the fight against pollution.
技巧四：非限制性定语从句简化为逗号分词短语（, which was → , V-ed）
原文： “the ITC decision, which was handed down in October” → 可简化为 “the ITC decision, handed down in October”
为什么好？ 非限制性定语从句（, which was/were + V-ed）是学生最常见的超重结构。FT的写法说明：只要去掉 which was，剩下的V-ed照样可以当后置修饰语，而且更简洁。逗号保留了插入语的感觉，但节省了三个词。
| 学生写法 | FT升级写法 |
|---|---|
| the ITC decision, which was handed down in October | the ITC decision, handed down in October |
| the report, which was published last week | the report, published last week |
| the rule, which was introduced in 2023 | the rule, introduced in 2023 |
模板： [名词], [V-ed + 时间/地点/方式]
例句（换话题）：
- 教育：The new curriculum, designed by leading educators, focuses on critical thinking rather than rote memorisation.
- 科技：The iPhone, first released in 2007, completely transformed the mobile phone industry.
- 社会：The policy, implemented in 2020, has significantly reduced carbon emissions.
写作建议
学完这四种简化技巧，你只需要一个三遍自查流程：
- 第一遍读： 找出所有 which/that + be 的结构，问自己”能删除吗？”
- 第二遍读： 找出所有 and + 动词 的并列句，问自己”能改成, V-ing 吗？”
- 第三遍读： 检查简化后的句子意思是否改变——过去分词表被动，现在分词表主动，别搞反了。
不要把定语从句当成安全的避风港。“全用定语从句就不会错” 的想法恰恰让你的写作比同龄人更臃肿。FT记者告诉我们：写得好的标志不是语法正确，而是信息密度。
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