读《金融时报》学英文写作:让文章更流畅的4个同位语与插入语技巧
很多学生写英语句子时,有一个共同的毛病:信息一个一个往外蹦,像报菜名一样直白。写一句话就是一个主谓宾,想加信息就只能再起一句话。结果是文章又长又碎,读起来像小学生说话。
而真正地道的英文写作,会用**同位语(Appositive)和插入语(Parenthetical)**把额外信息”塞”进句子中间,让信息密度翻倍,句子节奏自然流畅。
今天我们拿FT一篇关于Apple在欧洲被集体诉讼的报道,看看母语写作者怎样用这4种技巧。
FT原文段落
A consumer advocacy group is suing Apple for about €180m in four European countries for allegedly duping users into downloading updates that deliberately slowed down their iPhones.
The legal actions mirror a class action in the US that led to a proposed settlement there worth up to $500m, following allegations that Apple engineered the software updates to induce users to buy newer models. Apple agreed to the US settlement in March, admitting no wrongdoing but saying it wanted to avoid protracted litigation.
“Apple pushed updates to mask problems with the battery, knowing it would slow down phones,” said Els Bruggeman, head of policy and enforcement at Euroconsumers, the consumer advocacy group behind the new lawsuits.
US-style class-action cases do not exist for the continent as a whole but the individual filings could lead to a “snowball effect” across Europe, said Bart Volders, partner at Arcas Law, which is representing plaintiffs in Belgium.
In a letter to Euroconsumers from its lawyers at Gibson Dunn & Crutcher, dated August 6, Apple said it would “never…degrade the user experience to drive customer upgrades”.
Italy’s competition authority fined Apple €10m — its maximum penalty — after determining that software updates caused “serious malfunctions and significantly reduced their performance”.
一个消费者权益保护组织在四个欧洲国家向苹果(Apple)发起诉讼,要求后者赔偿约1.8亿欧元,理由是其涉嫌欺骗用户下载更新,以故意减慢他们iPhone的速度。
今年3月苹果同意了美国的这项和解协议,但不承认存在任何不当行为,只表示希望避免旷日持久的诉讼。
Euroconsumers是此次最新诉讼背后的消费者权益组织。该组织的政策和执行负责人埃尔丝·布鲁格曼(Els Bruggeman)表示……
在比利时代表原告的Arcas Law律所合伙人巴特·沃尔德斯(Bart Volders)表示……
在8月6日由代表苹果的律师事务所律师发出的一封致Euroconsumers的信中,苹果表示……
2018年底,意大利竞争监管机构对苹果处以1000万欧元的最高罚款。
技巧一:同位语解释身份(Appositive for Titles & Roles)
FT原文
Els Bruggeman, head of policy and enforcement at Euroconsumers, said “Apple pushed updates to mask problems with the battery”
Bart Volders, partner at Arcas Law, said “the individual filings could lead to a ‘snowball effect’ across Europe”
为什么好
中文思维写”某人说了某话”,习惯用两个句子:Els Bruggeman is the head of policy and enforcement. She said… 读起来像在念简历。而FT用一个逗号+同位语,一句话完成身份介绍+引语,信息密度翻倍,节奏不拖沓。
考场对照
| 学生写法 | FT升级写法 |
|---|---|
| Els Bruggeman is the head of policy and enforcement. She said that the company pushed updates to hide problems. | Els Bruggeman, head of policy and enforcement at Euroconsumers, said that the company pushed updates to hide problems. |
| Professor Wang is an expert in climate change. He argued that carbon emissions must be reduced. | Professor Wang, an expert in climate change, argued that carbon emissions must be reduced. |
模板
[Person’s Name], [Position / Role / Description], said / argued / noted / warned that [quote / claim]
例句
- Dr. Li, a leading researcher in renewable energy, warned that the current transition pace is still too slow.
- Mr. Chen, the head of admissions at Peking University, noted that holistic evaluation matters more than test scores.
技巧二:破折号插入补充信息(Dash Parenthetical)
FT原文
Italy’s competition authority fined Apple €10m — its maximum penalty — after determining that software updates caused “serious malfunctions”
为什么好
学生写这句话会写成:Italy fined Apple €10m. This was the maximum penalty. 两个句子,读起来断断续续。而FT用两个破折号把**补充信息(这是最高罚款)**塞进句子中间,主句的动词节奏没被打断,额外信息同时到位。
关键区别: 破折号插入的信息是对前面那个名词的解释/强调,不是新的论点。
考场对照
| 学生写法 | FT升级写法 |
|---|---|
| The government fined the company $5 million. This was the maximum penalty allowed by law. | The government fined the company $5 million — the maximum penalty allowed by law — for violating environmental regulations. |
| The school introduced a new policy. This was a controversial move that divided parents. | The school introduced a new policy — a controversial move that divided parents — requiring all students to wear uniforms. |
模板
[Subject] [Verb] [Object] — [explanation or emphasis about object] — [additional context]
例句
- The university admitted 500 students — the largest cohort in its history — despite budget constraints.
- The city imposed a plastic bag ban — a measure supported by 80% of residents — effective from next month.
技巧三:现在分词插入伴随状态(Participial Parenthetical)
FT原文
Apple agreed to the US settlement in March, admitting no wrongdoing but saying it wanted to avoid protracted litigation.
为什么好
学生写这个信息需要两句:Apple agreed to the settlement in March. It admitted no wrongdoing and said it wanted to avoid litigation. 句子很平,像在写清单。
FT用一个逗号加现在分词短语,把Apple的态度(“不承认过错,但想避免诉讼”)作为主句的伴随信息插入。主句干了什么 + 做这件事时是什么态度,一句话搞定。
考场对照
| 学生写法 | FT升级写法 |
|---|---|
| The company agreed to compensate customers. It also apologized for the delay. | The company agreed to compensate customers, apologizing for the delay while emphasizing it was not at fault. |
| He accepted the job offer. He also requested a flexible work schedule. | He accepted the job offer, requesting a flexible work schedule as a condition. |
模板
[Main Clause], [V-ing phrase describing the manner / attitude / additional action]
例句
- The government launched a new environmental policy, aiming to reduce carbon emissions by 50% by 2035.
- She declined the scholarship, citing personal reasons and the need to stay close to her family.
技巧四:逗号分隔的时间/附加信息插入(Comma-Separated Appositive)
FT原文
In a letter to Euroconsumers from its lawyers at Gibson Dunn & Crutcher, dated August 6, Apple said it would “never…degrade the user experience”
为什么好
“dated August 6”是对前面那封信的时间补充说明。学生可能会写:A letter was sent on August 6. In the letter, Apple said… 又是两个句子。
FT用逗号分隔的插入语把日期塞进已经有介词短语开头的句子,开头就是一大串信息(什么人给谁写的信+日期),然后才进入主句。这就是母语者的信息密度。
考场对照
| 学生写法 | FT升级写法 |
|---|---|
| A report was published on March 15. It showed that pollution levels had dropped significantly. | In a report published by the Ministry of Environment, dated March 15, researchers found that pollution levels had dropped significantly. |
| A study was conducted in 2023. It concluded that regular reading improves writing ability. | In a study conducted by Beijing Normal University, published in 2023, researchers concluded that regular reading improves writing ability. |
模板
[Prepositional Phrase], [additional modifier separated by comma], [Main Clause]
例句
- In an email sent to all employees, dated June 1, the CEO announced a new remote work policy.
- In a survey conducted among 2,000 students, released last week, more than 70% reported feeling stressed about exams.
写作建议:如何练习同位语与插入语
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先找再写。 下次批改自己的作文时,用荧光笔标出所有可以”合并”的两个相邻句子——有没有一个句子可以变成同位语插进另一个里面?
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从一个技巧开始。 别一下子全用。先掌握”同位语解释身份”(技巧一),写到变成肌肉记忆。
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注意标点。 插入语的标点(逗号/破折号/括号)必须成对出现。很多学生只加前半部分不加后半部分——写完后检查:每个插入语前后是否都有标点?
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不要过度使用。 一段话里用1-2个插入语就够了。整个段落都是破折号和逗号,反而让句子读起来喘不过气。
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