很多学生写英语作文，意思都对，但读起来就是”像小学生”。问题出在哪？词汇太单一。
今天我们从《金融时报》关于美国遭受重大网络攻击的报道中，提炼8组实用词汇升级，让你的作文瞬间从”写对了”变成”写好了”。
FT原文精选
US cyber officials warned that a major cyber attack unearthed this week was still continuing and posed a “grave risk” to the government, critical infrastructure and private sector.
Cisa said the hackers had “demonstrated sophistication and complex tradecraft” in these intrusions.
FireEye, SolarWinds and some US officials have blamed “nation-state” hackers for the breach.
President-elect Joe Biden vowed to impose “substantial cost” on adversaries who penetrate US computer systems.
“Our adversaries should know that, as president, I will not stand idly by in the face of cyber assaults on our nation.”
为什么好？
记者写网络攻击，没有用一句”hackers did bad things”。他们用 grave risk 代替了 big danger，用 sophistication 代替了 skill，用 breach 代替了 break into。每个词都更精确、更有分量，这正是英语写作从”合格”到”优秀”的关键。
8组词汇升级对照表
我们来逐一对照”学生常写的句子”和”FT级别的表达”。
| # | 学生写法 | FT升级写法 | 解析 |
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | This problem is a big risk to our society. | This problem poses a grave risk to our society. | pose a risk to 是固定搭配，比 is a risk to 更正式；grave比 big/serious 更正式、更书面 |
| 2 | The team showed great skill in handling the crisis. | The team demonstrated sophistication in handling the crisis. | demonstrate > show；sophistication > skill，表示”高度专业/老练” |
| 3 | Someone broke into the system last week. | Hackers were responsible for the breach of the system. | breach (n./v.) 特指”安全漏洞被攻破”，比 break into 精确得多 |
| 4 | We need to find and catch the people who did this. | We need to identify and remove the perpetrators. | perpetrator = 犯罪者/肇事者，比 people who did it 正式百倍 |
| 5 | The company’s system was infected by hackers. | The company downloaded compromised software. | compromised = 已被攻破/损害的，比 infected 更专业（infected偏向病毒） |
| 6 | I will not do nothing when this happens. | I will not stand idly by when this happens. | stand idly by 是地道习语，“袖手旁观”，比 do nothing 生动得多 |
| 7 | They made bad people pay for their actions. | They imposed substantial cost on adversaries. | impose on = 施加；adversary = 对手（比 enemy 正式）；substantial = 巨大的 |
| 8 | This is a very difficult problem to solve. | This is a highly complex and challenging problem to solve. | highly > very；complex and challenging 连用比 single adjective 更有层次感 |
模板 + 例句
模板1：pose + adj. + risk to
句式：
[Subject] poses a [grave/significant/real] risk to [object].
学生版： Smartphones are risky for children’s eyes. 升级版： Excessive screen time poses a grave risk to children’s eye health.
学生版： Air pollution is bad for our health. 升级版： Air pollution poses a significant risk to public health.
模板2：demonstrate/demonstrate + sophistication in…
句式：
[Subject] demonstrated [sophistication/skill/ability] in [doing something].
学生版： The player showed good skills in the game. 升级版： The young athlete demonstrated remarkable sophistication in her strategic decision-making.
学生版： He is good at solving problems. 升级版： He demonstrated outstanding problem-solving ability under pressure.
模板3：stand idly by
句式：
[Subject] cannot / will not stand idly by while [something bad happens].
学生版： We should not do nothing when our friends need help. 升级版： We cannot stand idly by while our friends are in need.
学生版： Teachers should stop bullying. 升级版： Teachers cannot stand idly by when bullying occurs on campus.
模板4：impose + … + on
句式：
[Subject] imposed [substantial/significant/severe] [cost/penalty/sanctions/consequences] on [object].
学生版： The school made students who broke rules stay after class. 升级版： The school imposed strict penalties on students who violated the code of conduct.
学生版： The government punished companies that polluted. 升级版： The government imposed severe fines on companies that violated environmental regulations.
改错实战
来练练手——下面三个学生写的句子，用今天学的词汇升级，你会怎么改？
❌ The exam is a very big problem for many students.
✅ The exam poses a grave challenge for many students.
❌ The teacher showed very good skill in explaining this.
✅ The teacher demonstrated remarkable sophistication in explaining complex concepts.
❌ I can’t just do nothing when my classmates are being treated unfairly.
✅ I cannot stand idly by when my classmates are being treated unfairly.
一句话总结： 写作文时，问自己三个问题——“这个动词够不够有力？这个名词够不够精确？这个搭配够不够地道？“每个句子至少用一个升级词汇，你的作文分数就能上一个台阶。
厦门灯塔 · 专业英语作文逐句批改 | 微信 linstudio799