你写过”the movie is very exciting""I was very tired”这类句子吗?说得没错,但读起来平淡无味。

今天我们从FT一篇关于哥斯拉(Godzilla)的绝妙文章里,学3个能让你的描写立刻生动起来的表达。

英文原文

There is a moment in the latest Godzilla film when the creature glares directly into the camera, its snorting, radioactive rage every bit as infinite and incomprehensible as it was in the 1954 original.

But look carefully behind those mad, luminescent eyes, and there is something even more boundless: fatigue. Specifically, the tiredness of extreme overwork. Because, over the course of nearly 70 years and 37 films, Godzilla has in many ways been Japan’s most put-upon worker — a scaly Stakhanov toiling year after year in the mines of metaphor.

Whenever postwar Japan has required a diverting, sometimes quite silly allegory to help make sense of seven decades of breathtaking domestic and global change, it has leaned with confidence on Godzilla. It has done so knowing that everything from nuclear threat, environmental catastrophe and pandemic to geopolitical rifts, political hubris and human stupidity can be projected on to the teeth, claws and dorsal spines of this one, city-smashing monster.

中文对照

在最新的《哥斯拉》电影中,有一幕是哥斯拉怒目直视镜头,它从鼻子中喷出的带有辐射性的怒火,跟在1954年的初代电影中一样没有止境而不可思议。

但是,仔细观察那双疯狂、发光的眼睛,可以看到一种更没有止境的东西:疲惫。确切地说,是因为过劳产生的疲惫。因为,在近70年的37部电影中,哥斯拉在很多方面都是日本被差遣最多的工人——一个年复一年在隐喻的矿井里辛勤工作的长着鳞片的”工作狂”。

70年来,每当战后的日本需要一个消愁解闷、有时甚至是相当愚蠢的寓言来合理化国内和国际上种种惊人的变化时,它就会满怀信心地召唤出哥斯拉。它这样做是因为它知道,从核威胁、环境灾难和流行病,到地缘政治分歧、政治上的傲慢和人类的愚蠢,一切都可以投射到这个有着尖牙利爪和背棘的摧毁城市的怪兽身上。


表达一:every bit as [adj] as…

原文:its rage every bit as infinite and incomprehensible as it was in the 1954 original

这是英语里非常自然的强调比较级。学生喜欢写”very + adj”,但 every bit as…as… 比单纯的 very 更有文学感。它传达的不是程度,而是”完全一样”的等同感。

学生写法升级写法
This movie is very exciting. I like it very much.This movie is every bit as exciting as the director’s previous work.
He works very hard.His dedication is every bit as strong as when he first started.

模板[Subject] is/was every bit as [adj] as [comparison]

例句:The challenge we face today is every bit as difficult as the one our parents faced.

表达二:look carefully behind [表面], and there is [本质]

原文look carefully behind those mad, luminescent eyes, and there is something even more boundless: fatigue

这个句式的力量在于”表面→本质”的转变。它教学生不要只描写看得见的东西,而要往深处看一层。议论文、读后续写里都能用。

学生写法升级写法
He looked sad. I tried to find why.Look carefully behind his confident smile, and there is a quiet loneliness.
The city seems modern, but it has problems.Look carefully behind the glittering skyscrapers, and there is a story of struggle.

模板Look carefully behind [appearance], and there is [hidden reality]: [specific detail]

例句Look carefully behind her calm voice, and you will notice a trace of anxiety: the trembling of her fingers.

写作提示:这个结构特别适合读后续写中的心理描写——外表平静,内心汹涌。

表达三:everything from A, B and C to D, E and F can be [verb] on to [concrete object]

原文everything from nuclear threat, environmental catastrophe and pandemic to geopolitical rifts, political hubris and human stupidity can be projected on to the teeth, claws and dorsal spines

这个长排比句非常高级。它的力量在于:用两个平行列表(左边是抽象概念,右边是具体意象)把”万物皆可容纳”的感觉写出来了。

学生写法升级写法
This park has many trees, flowers and birds.Everything from the ancient oaks, blooming cherry trees and winding streams to the colourful birds, buzzing bees and fallen leaves can be found in this small garden.
This book talks about many things.Everything from love, loss and regret to hope, courage and forgiveness is captured in the pages of this novel.

模板Everything from [A1], [A2] and [A3] to [B1], [B2] and [B3] can be [verb] [destination]

例句Everything from the laughter of children, the chatter of vendors and the barking of dogs to the smell of fresh bread, the warmth of sunlight and the rhythm of footsteps fills the morning market.

写作提示:写描述性段落(城市、校园、市场)时,这个结构比简单罗列高级一个档次。


写作建议

今天选的3个表达有一个共同点:它们不是单词,是句式

很多学生以为”高级作文=用难词”,但实际上,句式结构比难词更重要。与其背一个生僻的GRE单词(大多数人用错),不如掌握一个灵活的句式框架——一个句式可以套用到20篇不同的作文里。

这3个句式来自FT文化评论的同一段话。我的建议是:找一篇你感兴趣的FT文章,划出3个你觉得写得好的句子,拆解它们是怎么构成的,然后自己仿写3句话。


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