每次批改作文，最让我头疼的不是语法错误，而是开头和结尾的结构性重复。
开头永远是「Nowadays, with the rapid development of society…」，结尾永远是「In conclusion, I think…」——这两个句式没有语法问题，但也没有任何信息价值。阅卷老师看到前三个字，已经知道你要说什么了。
今天我们用英国《金融时报》一篇关于韩国经济增长的报道——South Korea’s economy grew at its fastest pace in a decade——来学习两个对中学生最实用的技巧：转折型开头和展望型结尾。
技巧一：转折型开头——“好成绩，但也有问题”
先看FT文章的第一句：
South Korea’s economy grew at its fastest pace in a decade in the second quarter on the back of robust exports and rebounding consumption, but the optimism was damped by a wave of Covid-19 infections.
中文对照：在出口强劲和消费反弹的推动下，韩国经济在第二季度实现了十年来最快增长，但这一乐观势头被一波新冠疫情蒙上阴影。
为什么好？ 这句话的结构非常简单却极其有效：积极的成绩 + 但 + 一个阴影/隐患。
| 成分 | 英文 | 功能 |
|---|---|---|
| 成绩 | grew at its fastest pace in a decade | 给出具体、量化的好消息 |
| 纽带 | on the back of… | 解释成绩的驱动因素 |
| 转折 | but the optimism was damped by… | 拉回真实感，让论述不偏颇 |
这不是一个”把论点分成两块”的基础结构。它做到了一件事：在开头的第一句话里，同时完成”陈述事实”和”设置讨论方向”两件事。 读者读完这一句，已经知道文章要讲什么了——增长很好，但有问题要注意。
对比多数中国学生的写法：
| 学生写法（平铺直叙） | 升级写法（转折型开头） |
|---|---|
| Nowdays, the Korean economy is developing rapidly. Many companies are exporting more products to other countries. However, there are also some problems. | South Korea’s economy grew at its fastest pace in a decade on the back of robust exports, but the optimism was damped by rising inflationary pressure. |
| In recent years, technology has made great progress. People can use smartphones to do many things conveniently. But it also has some disadvantages. | Technology has made life more convenient than ever before on the back of smartphones and AI tools, but the optimism has been damped by concerns over data security. |
| Many cities in China are growing very fast. The economy is getting better and better. However, environmental problems are also serious. | China’s economy grew at its fastest pace in five years on the back of strong consumer spending, but the growth was damped by ongoing environmental challenges. |
这个结构的核心模板：
[Subject] + [achievement/positive trend] + on the back of + [driver] + , but [the optimism/achievement was damped by/clouded by] + [challenge].跨话题例句：
- The number of foreign tourists visiting Japan hit a record high last year on the back of a weak yen, but the optimism was damped by labour shortages in the hospitality sector.
- My exam scores improved dramatically this semester on the back of daily reading practice, but the achievement was clouded by persistent weakness in writing tasks.
- Online learning gained widespread adoption on the back of the pandemic, but the optimism has been damped by concerns over screen time and student engagement.
这个技巧的核心一句话：开头不说”Nowadays”，用”成绩 + 挑战”的组合在第一句话就展示你对话题的全面理解。
技巧二：展望型结尾——以”未来会怎样”收束，而不是说废话
文章的结尾部分是这样的：
That would make the BoK the first central bank in Asia to start normalising policy this year. The BoK expects the Korean economy to expand 4 per cent this year, rebounding from a 0.9 per cent contraction last year.
中文对照：这将使韩国央行成为今年首个启动政策正常化的亚洲央行。韩国央行预计，今年韩国经济将增长4%，从去年收缩0.9%的水平回升。
为什么好？ 这个结尾没有用”In conclusion”或”To sum up”。它做了一件更重要的事：把读者引向未来的方向。
整篇文章一直在讲韩国经济增长有多好、但也遇到了什么问题、央行可能加息。结尾给出的就是”所以，接下来会怎样”——韩国央行可能首次加息，经济增长在4%左右。这是一个前瞻型结尾，而不是总结型结尾。
对有写作经验的人来说，前瞻型结尾比总结型结尾高级得多。因为总结只是在重复你已经说过的话，而前瞻在延展你的观点，说明你的思考不是停在纸面上的，而是可以继续下去的。
看一下对比：
| 学生写法（总结型） | 升级写法（展望型） |
|---|---|
| In conclusion, the Korean economy has both advantages and disadvantages. I think it will continue to develop. I believe it will be better in the future. | That would make South Korea the first Asian economy to start normalising its monetary policy, with the central bank expecting 4 per cent growth this year, rebounding from last year’s contraction. |
| In conclusion, technology brings us many benefits but also some problems. I hope in the future we can use it better. | That would make AI education tools the first technology to truly transform classroom learning, with schools expecting a 20 per cent improvement in student performance this year. |
| In conclusion, environmental protection is very important. The government should take more measures to solve this problem. | That would make this policy the first step towards a greener economy, with experts expecting a 30 per cent reduction in carbon emissions within five years. |
结尾模板：展望型
That would make [Subject] the first [category] to [action], with [authority/analyst] expecting [prediction/outcome].跨话题例句：
- That would make this reform the first comprehensive education overhaul in a decade, with experts expecting a significant improvement in student critical thinking skills.
- That would make the new policy the first of its kind in the region, with local officials expecting a gradual recovery in tourism numbers.
- That would make daily reading practice the most effective method for improving writing, with teachers expecting a noticeable difference within three months.
这个技巧的核心一句话：结尾不说”In conclusion”，用”这样一来，接下来会怎样”给读者一个向前看的理由。
附：两种技巧的组合使用
一篇优秀作文的开头和结尾是呼应的：
| 功能 | 示例短语 | |
|---|---|---|
| 开头（转折型） | 定调：这是一个有成绩也有挑战的话题 | grew at its fastest pace… but the optimism was damped by… |
| 结尾（展望型） | 收束：未来可能走哪条路 | That would make… the first… expecting… |
你不需要每次都炫技巧。但如果你能在中考/高考/雅思作文里，开头不再写”Nowadays”，结尾不再写”In conclusion”，你的分数至少能上一个小台阶。而这两个技巧是你可以从今天开始，在下一篇作文里直接用的。
厦门灯塔 · 专业英语作文逐句批改 | 微信 linstudio799