读《金融时报》学英文写作：4个同位语技巧让你的商业写作更地道

很多中国学生写英语句子，最大的问题是信息密度太低——写一个人就要”He is a professor. He said…”，写一个机构就要”The award was established in 2005. It is given to the best business book…”，句子又短又碎。

地道英文写作的秘诀之一，就是用**同位语（Appositive）**把背景信息直接”贴”在名词后面，一个逗号解决两句话的事。今天我们拿FT一篇关于年度最佳商业图书奖的报道，学习4种用得上的同位语技巧。

FT原文段落

Sarah Frier has won the £30,000 Financial Times and McKinsey 2020 Business Book of the Year Award for No Filter, the deeply sourced inside story of Instagram and its relationship with owner Facebook.

Roula Khalaf, the FT’s editor and chair of judges, said the book tackled ‘two vital issues of our age’.

In her book, Ms Frier, a journalist for Bloomberg based in San Francisco, describes the evolution of Instagram, the image-based social media app, and how Facebook shocked Silicon Valley by buying the start-up in 2012 for $1bn.

The book was published — by Random House Business in the UK and Simon & Schuster in the US — just as coronavirus and lockdown drove more people online.

Kevin Sneader, McKinsey’s global managing partner, presented the 2020 award to Ms Frier in an online ceremony on Tuesday.

The Business Book of the Year Award, first presented in 2005, goes to the title that provides ‘the most compelling and enjoyable’ insight into modern business issues.

萨拉·弗赖尔(Sarah Frier)凭借《无滤镜》(No Filter)一书获得了2020年英国《金融时报》/麦肯锡年度最佳商业图书奖，该书讲述了Instagram的深度内幕故事及其与所有者Facebook的关系。

评委会主席、英国《金融时报》总编辑鲁拉·哈拉夫(Roula Khalaf)称此书解决了”我们这个时代的两个重要问题”。

弗赖尔是彭博社(Bloomberg)驻旧金山记者。她的这本书描述了图片分享社交媒体应用Instagram的发展历程……

该书由英国兰登书屋商业书籍(Random House Business)和美国西蒙与舒斯特出版社(Simon & Schuster)出版于新冠疫情和封锁使更多人上网之际。

麦肯锡全球总裁施南德(Kevin Sneader)周二在一场在线仪式上将2020年的奖项颁给了弗赖尔。

本项年度商业图书奖创立于2005年，颁发给那些针对现代商业问题提出”最令人信服且富有趣味”见解的图书。

技巧一：书名/事物后的解释性同位语（Explanatory Appositive）

FT原文

No Filter, the deeply sourced inside story of Instagram and its relationship with owner Facebook.

为什么好

学生写法：Sarah Frier won the award for No Filter. This book is the deeply sourced inside story of Instagram. —— 两个句子，像在念两件不相干的事。

FT用一个逗号+同位语，把书名的”是什么”直接贴在书名后面，读者一秒就知道这本书是关于什么的，节奏不中断。

考场对照

学生写法FT升级写法
The book explores a topic called machine learning. It is a technology that powers self-driving cars.The book explores machine learning, a technology that powers self-driving cars.
I read an article about the Great Wall. It is one of the Seven Wonders of the World.I read an article about the Great Wall, one of the Seven Wonders of the World.

模板

[Proper Noun / Specific Term], [a / the + general description / explanation of the term], [rest of sentence]

例句

  • ChatGPT, a large language model developed by OpenAI, has transformed how students approach writing.
  • The Silk Road, an ancient network of trade routes connecting East and West, facilitated cultural exchange for centuries.

技巧二：人物身份同位语（Title/Role Appositive）

FT原文

Roula Khalaf, the FT’s editor and chair of judges, said…

Ms Frier, a journalist for Bloomberg based in San Francisco, describes…

Kevin Sneader, McKinsey’s global managing partner, presented…

为什么好

这是英文新闻写作最常用的技巧。学生写法：Roula Khalaf is the FT’s editor and chair of judges. She said… 读起来像在交代背景信息，主次不分。

FT的做法是把身份塞进两个逗号之间，主句动词紧跟着出现——读者关心的不是这个人是谁，而是她说了什么。身份信息只是辅助。

考场对照

学生写法FT升级写法
Professor Liu is an expert in environmental science. He argued that plastic pollution is a serious threat.Professor Liu, an expert in environmental science, argued that plastic pollution is a serious threat.
Mr. Li is the CEO of a tech startup. He believes that AI will change education.Mr. Li, the CEO of a tech startup, believes that AI will change education.

模板

[Person’s Name], [a / the + position / role / description], [verb] [rest of sentence]

例句

  • Dr. Wang, a leading cardiologist at Peking Union Medical College Hospital, emphasized the importance of preventive healthcare.
  • Elon Musk, the CEO of Tesla and SpaceX, announced plans for a new AI research lab.

技巧三：过去分词短语做同位语（Past Participle Appositive）

FT原文

The Business Book of the Year Award, first presented in 2005, goes to the title that provides ‘the most compelling and enjoyable’ insight.

为什么好

学生写法：The Business Book of the Year Award was first presented in 2005. It goes to the title that provides… 又是两个句子，信息是平的。

FT用一个过去分词短语 “first presented in 2005” 直接做同位语——这个奖的创立时间被压缩成6个单词，跟在名词后面。不是完整的句子，但信息完整。这就是书面英语的精简力量。

考场对照

学生写法FT升级写法
The scholarship was founded in 2010. It has supported over 500 students.The scholarship, founded in 2010, has supported over 500 students.
The building was designed by a famous architect. It attracts thousands of visitors every year.The building, designed by a famous architect, attracts thousands of visitors every year.

模板

[Noun], [past participle phrase describing the noun], [rest of sentence]

例句

  • The policy, introduced last year, has significantly reduced carbon emissions.
  • The novel, written when the author was only 19, became a global bestseller.

技巧四：破折号插入补充信息（Dash Parenthetical）

FT原文

The book was published — by Random House Business in the UK and Simon & Schuster in the US — just as coronavirus and lockdown drove more people online.

为什么好

这个结构很特别——不是常见的逗号同位语，而是破折号之间插入出版社信息。学生可能会写成：The book was published by Random House Business and Simon & Schuster. It was released just as the lockdown drove people online. 两个短句子。

FT把出版社信息用破折号夹在中间，后面的”just as…”直接接上”was published”的时间背景。一句话搞定出版商+时间背景两层信息。破折号比逗号更有”插入感”——提示读者：这个信息是额外补充的，不是主句必需。

考场对照

学生写法FT升级写法
The report was published by the World Health Organization. It came out during the global health crisis.The report was published — by the World Health Organization — during the global health crisis.
The policy was supported by both major parties. It was passed in a landmark vote.The policy was supported — by both major parties — in a landmark vote.

模板

[Main Clause] — [parenthetical information] — [rest of main clause]

例句

  • The research was funded — by a grant from the National Science Foundation — over a three-year period.
  • The festival was attended — by more than 50,000 people from 30 countries — despite the rainy weather.

写作建议：如何运用同位语

  1. 先拆再合。 写完初稿后，找出所有”相邻两个句子中，第二句在解释第一句的某个名词”的地方，试试能不能合并成一个带同位语的句子。

  2. 不要滥用技巧二。 人物身份同位语在英语写作中被用得太多了。适度使用（一篇文章2-3次），否则读起来像在念名片。

  3. 技巧三最容易被忽视。 过去分词做同位语（founded in 2010, designed by…）是中国学生几乎不会主动使用的结构，但它是最高效的压缩手段之一——值得刻意练习。

  4. 破折号不要连续用。 一篇文章里用1次破折号插入就够了。用多了文章会显得支离破碎。

  5. 标点必须成对。 同位语前后的逗号、破折号、括号必须都出现。检查时专门看每个插入语前后是否都有标点。

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